Asexuals have often faced the wrath within the LGBTQ community as they are not completely in favour of recognising asexuals as queer, a part of the LGBTQ community. So much so that asexuals are targeted by members of the gay community for identifying themselves as queer. Since when and on what grounds exactly did the all-inclusive spirit of the community take such a turn?
Who is an asexual?
As the term clearly suggests, asexuality is the absence of sexual feelings. Asexuals prefer to distance themselves from engaging in any sexual act and do not derive any pleasure from the same.
Why do they identify themselves as queer?
The definition of queer suggests a deviation from the widespread norm of heterosexuality, thus any and every deviant must be accommodated within the sphere of the queers and any discrepancy or discrimination will obviously question the very foundations on which the queer community situate themselves.
Can the asexuals ever fall in love?
It is about time we separate the two entities- love and sex. Yes, asexuals are very much capable of falling in love and female members can even have babies thanks to IVF.
Is asexuality a temporary phase which is simply due to the absence of the “ideal” partner?
No. The way you can’t expect a homosexual individual to “get over the phase”, similarly asexuals will distance themselves from sexual activity in the course of their life. Sexual activity for an ace (asexual) is nothing more than an act of force which is bereft of pleasure that sexual union is supposed to impart. Individuals who used to identify themselves as asexuals and have dismissed it later should not be identified as examples of asexuals.
It is quite important to use the term LGBTQ to symbolise acceptance of all kinds of sexuality and not limit this category only to a select few simply based on their kind of sexual preference. Sadly, asexuality is quite an understudied subject as the members are often sidelined and given much less importance than the other members of the LGBTQ community.
A female asexual recently received a hate post from a feminist member of the LGBTQ community who identifies himself as a Gay rights activist. It is quite disheartening to see the queer community disagree and discriminate amongst themselves, thus disregarding the progressive spirit of the movement. Similar hatred has been experienced by many aces, one should never forget how important and private one’s sexuality is and disregarding or disapproving it can lead to an extremely bitter experience for the individual.
Still have doubts about the existence of aces? Check out some celebrities who you probably didn’t know are asexuals.
If this is the first time you came across the term asexual, do visit here for more information.
This is a relatively new field of study with lots of research and possibilities. Make sure you read up a lot on this to gain a better understanding of gender and sexuality.
I didn’t particularly like the fragment about babies – for two reasons, one minor and one much more important. Perhaps the minor reason first: actually, in vitro fertilisation is a very burdening procedure which should only be used if there is no possibility of natural conception. Insemination would be a much better choice for a healthy asexual woman who wants to have a child.
The more important objection is that not all people – regardless of orientation – want to have children. Is it so hard to add words such as “some asexuals”, “if they want to” and so on to fragments about parenthood? Personally, I’m asexual, but many years before I started identifying as such, I was entirely sure that I never want to have children. I’m a sex-averse asexual, the idea of personally having sex feels scary and disgusting to me – but the thought of giving birth is mortally terrifying.
Besides, asexuality is not really “absence of sexual feelings”. There are some heated discussions over the definition of asexuality, but it’s usually defined as not experiencing sexual attraction and/or desire. It’s an important distinction insofar as some asexuals have a libido, but still don’t desire partnered sex. It may feel paradoxical to non-asexual people, who typically consider self-pleasuring (sorry, I personally hate the M word) an inferior substitute for sex. For asexuals with a libido it’s typically the opposite, they may rather consider autoerotic behavior a simple way (or rather relatively simple, which I have to add as a person who doesn’t reach an orgasm quickly and easily) of getting some pleasure without the distress involved in having sex with a partner.